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Peyton Freaking Sawyer

Okay so incase I haven't said enoug about her, let me tell you a little bit about my Peyton. She's by far THE most awesome person I know, & not only because she's like me but cooler, but it's because she's true to herself and to the people around her. She hasn't been fake to anyone, never me & never to anyone she knows or has met, if you don't like her for her then you're not going to get anyone else & it's your loss. She's strong, she is incredibly strong to deal with everything that she's been through over the past few years with family drama, losing friends to death & to realizing that some are fake & with her own inner demons, I could only hope to be as strong as her. She stays with me through all my drama & isn't afraid to tell me the truth when i need to hear it, may it be brutal or not. Our moments together when we realize there's something new we both liked & didn't know like the smell of new plastic or george michael are so precious to me & it makes me feel stronger & more confident because for the longest time i felt like it wasn't okay to be all of me, that some parts of me were lame & that no one would ever love me for who I really am, Peyton loves me & not ONCE has she left me, betrayed me or not had my side. She listens to me, she listens to anything i have to tell her, may it be ridiculous or the SSDD, she still listens. She understands me, & she doesn't judge me & she hasn't abandoned me for things that i've done or have been done to me & that is a lot more than i can say for 90% of the friends I know, if you're feeling a little guilty right now, more than likely i'm talking about you. I feel like she completes me & if you're supposed to have a soulmate in a best friend, she's definetly mine. If i lost every friend i had tomorrow & still had her, she'd be all i need & i'd be just fine because knowing her & having her by my side, for the first time in a long time, probably ever, i dont feel alone. I wouldn't be who I am without her & I wouldn't love myself if it wasn't for her. I'm constantly scared i'm going to lose her but I think that's in the realm of not being possible, we've been through a lot of truth together & there is nothing she doesn't know about me, she accepts me for who I am & I don't have ot prove anything to her or try to impress her. I love her so much, i'd gladly die for her & more than happy to kill for her. She's my best friend & if you don't know her or you don't wanna know her, you know that empty feeling inside that you get sometime & you don't know why, it's because you don't have her cuz I promise you if you did, you'd feel nothing but complete. I love you Peyton, alwaysed & furever, pinky swear.
  • Current Music
    kate voegele/savage garden
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Peyton Did It Earlier...

10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Summer
Favorite Color: I like all the colors except for yellow, for some odd reason i don' tlike that color at all.
Favorite Time: night
Favorite Food: italian, chinese, cajun, bbq, mexican, greek, mall .... lol
Favorite Drink: sonic creations
Favorite Ice Cream: mint chocolate chip & peppermint
Favorite Place: peyton's room, breyton, my school, northstar mall, shelly's house, & wal-mart scouting out boys with peyton that resemble ben mckenzie from The O.C.
Favorite Sport: football & basketball i guess
Favorite Actor: John Cusack & Jim Carrey
Favorite Actress: Angelina Jolie & Julia Roberts

9 Currents
Current Feeling: i really have to pee!
Current Drink: saliva?......... okay now it's ginger ale mmmm
Current Time: 2:56
Current Show on TV: n/a
Current Mobile used: AllTel LG?
Current Windows Open: LJ
Current Underwear: none of yo business
Current Clothes: my red hot chili pepper pants & a black tank
Current Thought: the song Go figure by Everlife........why?

8 Firsts
First Nickname: I dunno..........
First Kiss: .............. n/a
First Crush: Oh My God i was like in pre-k or something, i remember it was in Louisiana
First Best Friend: Charity
First Vehicle I Drove: '99 toyota corolla
First Job: FBC Daycare/Stonewalls Pizza
First Date: Never been on one.....
First Pet: Milo i think

7 Lasts
Last Drink: ginger ale, seriously can't get enough of it
Last Kiss: ........ shut up
Last Meal: chimichanga ........... chicken cesar salad sounds really good now lol
Last Web Site Visited: hotmail
Last Movie Watched: Blade 3
Last Phone Call: Rachel
Last TV show Watched: THE O.C.!

6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: tee hee maybe
Have You Ever Been Drunk: no never.....why..... i can just see peyton's face right now lol
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: ...... yeah but he doesn't count as a first kiss, just my first mistake & regret
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: no? this aint Iraq son
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: HA! hahahahaha it's awesome
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: unintentionally if i have

5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: my A.C., keyboard,
Things On Your Bed: comforter, pillows
Things You Ate Today: nothing yet
Things You Do When You Are Bored: listen to music, make slideshows, go to walmart just to hang out, talk on AIM, hang with whit, watch movies

4 Places You Have Been Today

3 Things On Your Desk Right Now
cell phone

2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: pepper
Hot or Cold: hot

1 Place You Want To Visit
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this is the story of a girl............

Well me, Peyton & Haley aren't really having good times personally, i'm going through something very dark, Peyton's got it hard at home so she's in her own darkness & Haley's got so many people to deal with that bring her nothing but sorrow, even in comfort she can't find full relief. I was looking for Never Too Late by Three Days Grace on YouTube, just another song to make me cry i guess but instead i found this, & for some reason it gave me hope for all of us. Hopefully it will for them too. I love you 2!

Story of a girl - Nine Days

& THIS is something just for Haley & Peyton to give them smiles =)
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Ever the same....

tonight was pretty intense & i'll most likely post about it when i'm not so tired. For now, i'll just leave this for my peyton.

  • Current Mood
    tired tired
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It's funny how you can find a song that says EXACTLY how you feel & have been feeling for the longest time. While there are a lot of songs i'd like to dedicate to certain people, I dedicate this to every person that calls themselves my friend & loved one. Just  believe in me, & I will get through this. I will come back to you.

Favorite Color by One Less Reason

If I said the wrong thing would you leave?
Though my fingers may break, I just can't let you go
Don't know why I believed you,
Not with that promise you made me just yesterday

I will always love you, take the me out of you
A lot of people gonna be dissapointed when they find out,
I love you and I need you
Til my heart stops beating,
I'll never lose this feeling
A lot of people gonna be dissapointed when they find out

3:11 again
Though I'm not your best friend,
Don't you see that I'd do anything to keep you with me
Close your eyes, hold on tight, spin around, it's alright
Don't you see my plans will always have you in them?

I will always love you, take the me out of you
A lot of people gonna be dissapointed when they find out,
I love you and I need you
Til my heart stops beating,
I'll never lose this feeling
A lot of people gonna be dissapointed when they find out
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Just for the record, I have no idea where this came from, how it started or if it even ended. But here it is

I never left, however, I was left behind
I never lied,
you were the lie hidden in the back of my mind
I stayed true,
I never once pretend to be you
How can you say you want something real?
When you've been fake the whole time
How can you say you want someone honorable,
when honary never crossed your paths with lies
I long loved something that wasn't mine
I forever longed for a touch I would never feel
The arms wrapped around my body
are no ones but mine alone
alone? it's a word I should've gotten to know by now
don't you think?
So do you get redeemed?
are you given that second chance?
labeled by society as "unique"
living by standards as "lost"
If i could erase one thing in this world
it'd be disappointment found in others
what do we learn from mistake
what have we learned from each other
what have we learned from ourselves
what will we learn from God
Is there such a thing as beauty in decaydence
Is there such a belief strong enough to actually believe
Is there a love that can actually conquer all
or is there even a love worth fighting for
there is a difference between loneliness & being alone
one is a product of thinking of you
the other is a product of us
I held your face in my hands
replaced my heart with your own
felt you enter my body
put my soul into a loan
I pledged myself to you
sanity, heart, very being
I died 3 nights ago
you ran me over with your plans of redemption
I don't want to die anymore
though I'd gladly die for our love
or at least the dream of what it could be
I cut myself tonight
new scar to tell the tale
it's in a well hidden place
no one will see it behind the scars you left
Everything was fine
things were swell & gandy
then you came back into mind
losing grip on that very sanity
are you gonna stand by
watch me while i do this
just let me die
while i slit my wrist?
How did I get here?
Where the hell am i?
Who are you
to tell me how to get myself by
I tell you sorry 10,000 times
for something trivial
something where the blame isn't mine
isn't that comical
red floors
open doors
shattered windows
broken promises
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Yes I know 10's

Alright so, since I can't sleep & i've been meaning to do this anyways, i've been thinking about all the guys in my life and realized just how lucky I am to be surrounded by such hot guy friends. I decided to make a list ranging from my 'meh's' to 'dear gods' or 8's to 10's & here they are. I've gotten permission to use pictures from 1 of 10 of them but I really don't care =) 

10. TJ Bunnell - This guy is really like a brother to me but all the girls seem to like him so I put him on here

9. David Hoskins - Alright this guy has the accent of Matthew McConaughey, the sense of a simpleton & the face of Ben Affleck. I put him at 9 because not only is he really hot but he's even more sweet than he is good lookin.

8. Jake Wright - Alright can i just say I freakin love this kid. He definitely has that boy next door appeal. He's one of my favorite people in the entire world and I felt he deserved a spot on here cuz he really is the only one with that boy next door charm =)

7. Kelly Vann - This kid worked at abercrombie, need I say more?

6. Jeremy Farris- Smug & charming mix real well with this kid. Great hair, great smile, amazing personality & as fun to be around as he is good lookin.

5. Travis Maples - Gooood God! This kid is so freakin gorgeous & fun & hilarious. I just flat out love him because of who he is and the way he is towards life, people & his girlfriend.

4. Hunter Ratliff - Alright, as I put in my previous men blog, big mouths drive me insane, for example steven tyler & this kid. Not only is he just so freakin gorgeous but he's without a doubt my favorite person in the world & one of the greatest friends I could ever hope to have.

3. Jordan Roberts - My angel, he's amazing. A lot of people including myself, thinks he looks like Shane West, but Jordan's got amazing blue eyes, a very deep & scratchy and when he smiles, it somewhat devilish, but you wanna be a part of his evil plan. <3 U

2. Jake Cooper - Alright, i'm actually gonna compliment this kid because like i've told him before, despite his huge nostrils & sorry attempts to grow facial hair, Jake's actually very attractive. I'm trying to convince him spike his hair again but nooo. It's not all the hair though. Jake's got great eyes, smile & a nice jaw line. You gotta have a conversation with him though, not only will you be intrigued by his low voice, but you'll realize that you're in the pressence of someone very awesome & special. This is one of those people in my life that if I were to lose, I can guarantee I wouldn't be the same. I'd be the most intolerable, annoying, sad, finds no humor in anything, doesn't even know the meaning of the word inspiration & i'd lose that aura glow I have just from knowing him. Ladies & Gents, if you know this kid, don't take advantage, consider yourself damn lucky cuz i know i do. P.S. His songs are pretty freakin awesome too. =)

1. Billy Uran - Oh my fuckin god, are you shittin me with how hot this guy is? Billy's a cool cat, no doubt about it he's an awesome guy to hang with but most of the time, i'm not interested in what he has to say, more or less how fast he can lose the clothes he has on or much it'd cost me. This kid is so fuckin hot I can't wrap my head around it. The tan, the eyes, the body, the smile, the personality, not to mention the body =) 

So  there you have it, my top 10 of hot guys I know that i consider 10's. Well actually 10 is like a seven, 7, 8 &9  are eights, 6, 5 & 4 are nines, 3 is a ten, 2 & 1 eleventies. But they say 10's the hottest so there ya go

  • Current Music
    red hot chili peppers